There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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