I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
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