Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
