he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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