Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize