Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
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