For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
