another moral hangover. fuck.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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