I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
