He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
