I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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