party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Randomize
