OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
