Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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