Jerry, you need to find god
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
