if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize