That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I deserve to be covered in dicks
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
