Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
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