I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
