i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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