woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Randomize
