3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
