God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
