His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
It's like God shit irony all over that family
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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