Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
