whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
