because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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