Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
