the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
