Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
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