I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
