nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
