Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Shame - the story of my life.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
