did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
