You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
