Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
