Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
