Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
