is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
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