I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
