OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
