Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Umm I'm too high to move.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
