I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
