You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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