Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize