(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
