The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
ttyl tear gas
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize