Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
