i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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