its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize