I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
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