Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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