tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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