we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Randomize
