sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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