This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
