That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize