your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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